Weblog
Friday, 27 November 2009
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Every year...
"Every year without fail"
That's what Arif said to me just now.
It's the same time, every year, where i'll ring up friends/seniors, chat for awhile, & forgot all about the wishing, haha.
Most of them, i knew them when i was 17.
Every year? 4years only =)
But still, glad to know, that people actually does remember.
*****
Went to the school Sports Award Event 09 just now. Well, absolutely zero photos on my side. Didnt bother. After which, we had dinner buffet in school, before we headed over to forever-the-same KAP for round 2, ahha. More of hanging out session.
*****
I mention this sentence once again today. A sentence which always rings a bell to me.
"The one who is worthy of your tears will not make you cry."
~+::RiN::+~
Saturday, 21 November 2009
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Two extreme points
How can you be so happily basking in happiness, smiling silly-ly to yourself, & yet still feel damn emo, about exactly the same matter?
*****
Drew looks at me
I fake a smile so he won't see
What I want and I need
And everything that we should be
I'll bet she's beautiful
That girl he talks about
And she's got everything
That I have to live without
Drew talks to me
I laugh 'cause it's just so funny
I can't even see
Anyone when he's with me
He says he's so in love
He's finally got it right
I wonder if he knows
He's all I think about at night
He's the reason for the teardrops on my guitar
The only thing that keeps me wishing on a wishing star
He's the song in the car I keep singing
Don't know why I do
Drew walks by me
Can he tell that I can't breathe?
And there he goes, so perfectly
The kind of flawless I wish I could be
She better hold him tight
Give him all her love
Look in those beautiful eyes
And know she's lucky 'cause
He's the reason for the teardrops on my guitar
The only thing that keeps me wishing on a wishing star
He's the song in the car I keep singing
Don't know why I do
So I drive home alone
As I turn out the light
I'll put his picture down
And maybe get some sleep tonight
'Cuz he's the reason for the teardrops on my guitar
The only one who's got enough of me to break my heart
He's the song in the car I keep singing
Don't know why I do
He's the time taken up but there's never enough
And he's all that I need to fall into
Drew looks at me
I fake a smile so he won't see*****
I wish you know
Wishing that I can keep you by my side
But I know
I can never do that
And I never will want to do that
I wish you forever happiness
From the very bottom of my heart
*****
To, that special someone, 11years are long.
Thanks for being my perfect teacher.
Teaching me stuffs, that i'll never get to learn from anyone elses under the sun.
Thanks for telling me that "I did not forget and I never will"
Thanks for telling me that whatever I've done is appreciated.
And thanks for continuing being my friend despite so many so many years.
Thanks for listening to me now.
Thanks for giving me advices.
Thanks for believing in me.
It means so much, so much.
Million thanks are not even enough from me to you.
Lastly, thanks, for being you.
*****
As long as you're happy, i'll be happy for & together with you.
I loved you.
Past tense
~+::RiN::+~
Monday, 16 November 2009
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Friendship.
I wanted to do a photoless post, but i cant really sum up my thoughts.
The exam sh!t just gotten me down & defeated me. The aftermath of exam is more often than not, undesirable. I first heard about that i got to take my paper on Friday the 13th, seven days before, meaning, on the 6th. Was caught up with things, ended up only started studying on Monday night. After 6months of not much studying, i went straight into intensive mugging, leaving myself drained, doing thousand questions within two days, & feeling pretty prepared for exam. There i sat down, staring at the screen, more than half of the questions i've never seen before, i told myself, just leave my fate to Heaven. I clicked the 'Finished' button, eyes closed, refusing to see the result. [Passed], i saw on the screen, not willing to believe, relief, yet the emo-ness has already devoured me.
Getting my textbook later, having to prepare for the next paper in about a week's time, i guess.
*****
Friendship is such a vulnerable thing. Just a wrong word, a misunderstanding, it's more than enough to destroy everything.
Accusation, obligation, both are such strong & powerful words. Words that i rather not to touch on, for it hurts, very. But they'd been thrown at me, like merciless daggers, piercing through me inside out.
What a bad morning, what a bad way to start a morning.
It starts with one
One thing I don't know why
It doesn't even matter how hard you try
Keep that in mind I designed this rhyme
To explain in due time
All I know
Time is a valuable thing
Watch it fly by as the pendulum swings
Watch it count down to the end of the day
The clock ticks life away
It's so unreal
Didn't look out below
Watch the time go right out the window
Trying to hold on but didn't even know
Wasted it all just to
Watch you go
I kept everything inside and even though I tried it all fell apart
What it meant to me will eventually be a memory of a time when...
I tried so hard
And got so far
But in the end
It doesn't even matter
I had to fall
to lose it all
But in the end
It doesn't even matter
One thing I don't know why
It doesn't even matter how hard you try
Keep that in mind I designed this rhyme
To remind myself how
I tried so hard
In spite of the way you were mocking me
Acting like I was part of your property
Remembering all the times you fought with me
I'm surprised it got so (far)
Things aren't the way they were before
You wouldn't even recognize me anymore
Not that you knew me back then
But it all comes back to me
In the end
You kept everything inside and even though I tried it all fell apart
What it meant to me will eventually be a memory of a time when I tried
I tried so hard
And got so far
But in the end
It doesn't even matter
I had to fall
to lose it all
But in the end
It doesn't even matter
I've put my trust in you
Pushed as far as I can go
for all this
There's only one thing you should know
People always tell (pay attention that i'm not using 'ask') me to understand them. They'll always say that "You should understand, you will understand, how can you not understand". And if i were to say anything that is not what the response they expect from me, they'll goes "You dont understand".Seriously, dont expect me to understand you, if you dont want to tell me anything. I cant read minds. Stop linking my name 'Rin' with 'Rin SHOULD understand my situation/position/whatever crap because Rin is Rin.' Obligation, yes i have NONE. You, you you you all of you out there, Rin DONT read minds. Unless you tell me, i can never understand you. Even if you tell me, alot of times i'm very slow in understanding. If I dont understand, it means I dont, how can you INSIST on me understanding you?
Just when so many out there expect me to understand them & their situation, how many actually bother about understanding me? The one Rin that you all EXPECT to understand about yourself.
The friendships are not mutual, I accept it. But at times, please give me a space to breathe, & dont demand & expect so much from me. Dont get upset with me just because I cant understand you. You have never bother giving me a chance to. And dont get upset when I hope you'll understand me too, because you've never bothered to.
I put my trust in you, push as far as I can go.
I feel very alone, very very alone. I want someone to be there for me to pour out my soul to. But seems like I cant find anyone to. Not one who is willing to listen, who can console me, who can make me feel better. I dont need one who'll make me feel even more upset after talking to, & feel that i got dragged back to face the reality about the fact that it's my 'responsibility & obligation', as others expect, to understand them. I dont need someone like that around me. At least, not now.
Give me a break.
Give me some space.
I'm suffocating.
And I'm screaming out loud, in silent.
Thursday, 05 November 2009
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All the lagging updates...
So, after one whole long week, finally i'm FREE! Suppose to go training today, but for my ankle, i decided to give myself a break. Agony though, i miss training so much!
24th Oct'09
Last last weekend, went to Michelle's birthday party. The Theme is Bling Bling.
Seems like i stole the host limelight =x But it was freaking hot to wear jacket! That's my bling-est outfit though.
*****
27th Oct'09
Met up with Siew Leng. I MISS HER ALOT!
As usual, went to my fav @ Bugis. Hip Diner one-for-one is still on-going =D
It happened to be Jade's birthday & I jio-ed her out together. Actually the 3 of us suppose to meet up much earlier la. But because of timing & all, it was dragged till that day.
We headed down to TCC to slack~
The sweet Senior Citizen! Love her lots =D
Had a good chat with them, gossips & all. Nice hanging out =D
Did i mention that we saw Chen Wei Lian over there?! No no, is I SAW! HAHAHA, omg, he's my idol la! Wanted to take photo with him, but he's with a group of friends, i paiseh to approach, haha.
I parted with the 2girls at around 11pm, reached home at past midnight. Bathed, then Stone came over at around 1am to drive me out. Wheex~Super duper uber long never see him already. He changed his car le. (P.S.: he's only one year older than me & it's freaking his OWN car. I seriously wonder how he afford. He refuse to tell me his secret, haha.) & he say he's changing again soon, wth. Anyway, he drove me out, brought me to a really nice place to chill, yup. Bestest senior cum friend, as always =) Had a really late night out, & morning class next morning. Shiok arh! hahaha~
*****
And well, obviously my Berkelah trip at Malaysia.
30th Oct'09 - 1st Nov'09
Just some random photos here & there. All the rest, facebook please =)
Breakfast.
This is another JC senior of mine =)
Teddy bear with Ty's Red Bull Leh. (that's really the name of the drink!)
Haha, cute!
The two camwhores. Louis borrowed my camera saying want to see the functions, ended up, they started happily taking photos of themselves. What's new? Haha~
Muhahaha. I wonder if any girls still want him? =P
Yea man! Trekking trip. The place where i fall / sprain my ankle for the 3rd time & decided to put my training on hold for a week.
Senior dearest. I wasnt very ready, but ok la,photo still look fine. I dont call him by his name. I address him as senior, haha.
Anyway, we trekked up, reached the third waterfall (fourth is the peak), it started raining, we'd no choice but to head down. Good through, cause i sprain my ankle between the 2nd & 3rd waterfall. Every single steps hurt. Ended up i have to support my whole body weight with my left legs. Left knee ache like crap after the trip.
Hmm, had our field dinner and happy hour started at 8pm. Ended around 10+pm when the drinks went out. Then we just sit around playing truth or dare. Whole night activity ended around 12+ or 1am. Which is good though. Time for beauty sleep cause i was basically sleeping while the others are eating dinner, hahaha.
Next morning had breakfast before packing out. Poor us with our deformed tent where we sleep in.
Photo-taking time while waiting for transport. Super cute OG2
Fav shot of the whole trip. Ty & Me. I look so small beside him! Lolx~
My OG1 together with our dear OGLs. Love them man! Almost all were from Water Rafting trip. So all of us ended up together again! =D
The uncle who drove us out. Damn fun on the lorry! =D
Our young bus driver. That time during water rafting when we're on the bus we addressed him as uncle cause we're sitting at the back row & didnt see. Then we realise is not uncle, is brother, hahaha.
JunRen. Like big brother like that la, ha. President of ODAC.
Sitting with him quite squeezy. Cause half of my seat will be taken up by his legs >.< Who ask him to be so tall!
Suppose to be just Ty, me & Louis take photo. Somemore Royston manage to squeeze himself in, haha.
Nice sunset =)
Love the orangey colour, love the girls =)
Yaahoo, our driver not bad looking right, haha.
Nice good dinner =D
Reached Sg at around 10+pm & cabbed back together with Louis & Santono. Glad to have people who stay around the area =)
*****
3rd Nov'09
The ODAC people were having X-Treme Fiesta. So i decided to pop by for awhile. Obviously with me around, photos will be around too =)
With Royston. Taken by Santono & his angle shot. Trying to make it seems like Royston is kissing me. Obviously the shot fail to carry the effect, haha.
Nicholas. I still prefer him with his geeky spec.
Santono. His hair like teddy bear de fur la. Damn nice to touch~haha.
*****
4th Nov'09
I never bother to tou pai Ty. He always know i'm taking, & either he'll pose for me, if not he'll just totally ignore & let me take, haha.
With Ah lian!~ Haha, her nick =P
Ty say he's cute naturally...
They look like they're going to tear down the whole machine la! >.<
Samuel the toy machine catcher. After all the shake shake shake, he damn pro la. Caught ALOT!
*****
5th Nov'09
Happy Birthday to Marco, by the way =)
Hmmm, I'd been aiming this rainbow colour teddy bear since i first lay my eyes on it on Tuesday when i was at the bazaar @ The Plaza in school. So unique la. But 20bucks...worthwhile not? I'm not even sure if it's authentic =S But i really LOVE it! That's why Valencia suggested, if i'm not getting it,how about taking a photo with it? Haha. I still want it though. Anyone offer to buy for me? Bleahx~
*****
That's it for now. Update till up-to-date =)
Got to bath, bye~
~+::RiN::+~
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Good friend...
I have a good friend, a good friend i hold so dear. Someone who will offer me advices when i need them. Someone who will be my listening ear in the middle of the night. Someone who will put studies aside despite in the midst of exam & accompany me when i say i need a talk, & can cry to.
I have a good friend, who is busy mugging for exam now. Who has been sms-ing with me for the whole night. I have a good friend, my good friend is you. And arent I glad to have found you
LimeRinnie
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- Name: Rin
- Gender: Female
- Member Since: 9/22/2006
